"Be Beautiful, Be Unique, Be Something Else" The Method behind the Madness
‘Be Beautiful, Be Unique, Be Something Else’
Good late evening all. I wanna share the method behind the madness. My inspiration behind what I feel these 7 words mean. And I can’t do this with anything less than a short story so gather round.
I posted before of my reluctance to start selling my art. I designed this first ever clock of mine that keeps me company these days. So I thought it was sell-worthy. But I couldn’t bring myself to put it out there. MY EGO WOULDN’T ALLOW IT. So I wussed out and asked my brother to see if anybody shows interest. My comfort level grew like tenfold to pursue this when I saw numerous positive reactions and comments. For me at the time, anything over ten likes or comments made me feel funny inside. LOL. So here I was, a grown a** man of 38 years, stood tall and proud in uniform, proud father of 4 awesome boys, afraid to get my feelings hurt for me being me.
Being holed up, occupied with my newfound passion in developing my style, allowed hours of clear thinking on things of this sort. Things that really matter.
The Navy had a thing for inspirational quotes to motivate, instill esprit de corps, and they were muraled on almost every hallway I’ve served my duty in my 10+ years. Here’s one of many that I remember, ‘"Don't tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results." George Patton.
One valuable lesson I’ve learned fathering is this, just because a certain approach to correct one child works, doesn’t gaurantee it will work for the other. And I have 4 of them. They had me constantly switching up my gameface to approach each situation with all it’s unique qualities in a way to efficiently put them fires out the first time.
Sorry these are all gonna make sense in about 10 minutes. Probably best to use the bathroom or grab a snack right now if you like. I’ll wait.
Another skill I learned as a leader is that when nominating your people for higher positions, you can’t play favorites. You gotta see every individual as an equal, let their documented military papertrail speak for them on who is the right person for the job. This allows a consistent business of Integrity, a huge pillar of the military structure.
ENCOURAGEMENT NOT DISCOURAGEMENT
So here I was just a regular old rez kid, graduated from Hopi back in the ‘roaring 90’s’ (98). Running out of places to work here, did the ktown store thing for a year, fired from Cultural Center twice, Navy and Army came through. With a desperate want to get off the rez on someone else’s dime, I agreed to go to the big city, spend the night, take my ASVAB again for a chance at a higher score. Basically I saw dollar signs, $7,000 sign on bonus for five years. Hell yeah. I honestly didn’t consider the uniform I was to wear when I raised my right hand during that oath. I wish I could have seen my face when I got my initial issue. Nutshell: almost got out at 5 years, got cold feet, signed another 3, then another 4 after that. But that rez kid that smoked too much weed (which delayed my entry for several months due to a failed wizz quiz), felt comfortable keeping below the radar, that’s what the Navy bought. SLACKER. The encouragement they instilled in me that enabled me to reach the enlisted rank E-6 in 9 years was huge. There were people retiring at 20 years at the rank of E-5 on the regular. So what made this rez kid I described above to go against the grain. Certainly not himself, by himself. ENCOURAGEMENT. I had a good head on my shoulders, that was my foot in the door. All that was needed was that push, even when I didn’t want it anymore. Halfway during deployment as day shift supervisor, I hit what I thought was my limit. Things were not going right for us for several weeks. It’s those residual effects that a leader has to accept in his position, absorbing the blow from the higher ups for our incompetence. That S**t really does roll downhill, but we absorb most of the impact, all for the greater good. Morale. Even when I was about to give up my position, a coward a** move if you ask me now, during deployment at that, something pushed me past that point to keep going. ENCOURAGEMENT. My effort was rewarded post deployment and got a kickass Eval that was a huge factor in me attaining the rank of E-6.
I share this to emphasize the importance of influence. What is influencing us on an individual basis that sets the course in our life paths? I personally greet my kids, nieces and nephews as they wake up with this question every time. “Good morning, did you sleep good?” My reasoning is that it shows them, at the very start of their day, that someone cares if they slept good or not. Another choice statement I used before sending them to school each and every day was this, “have a good day at school, and remember, when you come home, teach me something new”. This is my way of showing them that I have a genuine interest and encourage them with what they are ‘forced’ to do every day. Sure enough, that afternoon, they have their lesson for me recited, answers for all my wiseass questions already answered and recited as well. I saw a problem with the run-of-the mill afternoon attempt to connect. They must all have the same teacher because when you ask them what they learned that day, same answer: Nothing. PROACTIVE NOT REACTIVE. I frontloaded that expectation on my kids to go in to school each day, picking the best topic to teach dear old dad when they get home each and every day. (You should hear the discussion on Shakespeare and his depiction of King Henry my 8 year old and I had over breakfast at Denny’s. Quality)
These are examples of what I like to believe infuenced my boys to develop the way they did, despite my huge shortcomings. My alcoholism really disadvantaged them in many ways. During the 8th grade promotion at HJSHS, they announced and explained what the Citizenship Award represented. In my mind I was like, that’s Xavier all the way, then again, humbling myself and remembering my navy teachings, there was a pretty big class and my hats off to who rightfully deserved the award. My son’s name was called. I was frozen. My sister told me, ‘go down, go take his picture’. Me? In front of all these people? Then I saw my son’s arms, stagefright was set, arms were shaking as he accepted his award. Man, I can’t leave him up there by himself like that. TBH first time experience in this department. Two weeks later, his younger brother received the same award at his promotion at SMDS. I expressed to them how happy and proud of what they achieved on their day. That award was based largely on Character.
CHARACTER: It’s the manner in which one carries and displays themselves, even when noone is looking, that is their true character.
DIRECT REFLECTION. In the Navy, if any of my people get out of line in any way while under my supervision, that will always be viewed as a Direct Reflection of the type of leadership they are under. I understand I may be too stern in some cases with my boys, but honestly, I am grateful for the character these guys have. All four of them. Was it because of what I taught them? I will never know. I’m just blessed to have them in my life.
So, having experienced all this personally. Understanding the impact that these words and the true definition it carries has had on my life, it would be a waste to not share, damn near greedy.
-“Be Different”- I chose this because I know my style is definitely not normal. It’s different. That was the reason for my reluctance. Was I gonna be accepted? Ridiculed? Never know until you know. I have this belief that the one word that is the downfall of almost every self esteem is this: COMPARE. His is better, She looks prettier, Her breads softer etc. Something taught us to believe that there’s a standard in everything we do to have to compare ourselves with certain much loved aspects of our lives. That mindset coupled with the human nature of being our own worst critic is a recipe for anything but good. So I encourage this, Be Different, because you are. He doesn’t make more money than me, he just makes a different amount, she doesn’t look prettier, she just uses a different color that glows on her skin.
-”Be Unique”- Fatherhood showed me that two kids can grow up in the same household, eat the same meals at the same time, watch the same shows and everything else in between. They will never have the same taste for certain foods, share the same favorite show, despite the same exposure, their Uniqueness is something that can’t be taken away. Be Unique, embrace the qualities that you were created with. Imagine the myriad of twists and turns in each of your parents life that brought them to bring you to this life. Now imagine the thousands of chances that would have sent their life path a different course to miss each other by miles. Yup, there’s a reason for you and the uniqueness you bring to the table. Embrace that. It’s a beautiful thing.
-“Be Something Else”- I don’t know where this came from, I just needed something else to fill the design and sound smart about it.
Whew, that was alot. But wait there’s more. I originally wasn’t going to explain all this in detail. It was’t until the first “be beautiful” model showed more bravery than me and represented “Her” right, sporting the hoodie. I originally figured the design looked nice, was gonna sell etc. Nobody would care to read a long schpiel on my thoughts behind it all. Then I saw the ‘real’ and ‘genuine’ displayed in that kodak snapped moment. Then another satisfied customer’s order arrived and they shared as well, I saw the same, genuine happiness. My aim with this quote was to inspire and empower who we are individually. In the navy, I’ve seen someone i wouldn’t have thought to rise up, break out of their shell and take life by the horns because they chose to. It was all done with Encouragement, not discouragement. What sucks about life is that we are all different, we are not all on the same page most of the time. The beautiful part of life is that we are all different, we all have a unique beautiful quality to make this world as colorful as we want it to be. All we need is to encourage each other. Kwah’ kwa!